That statement really didn't hit me till later because I had blood running down my arm from where he had bit me.
I'm not sure I will ever be able to understand why he would say that. Every time I think about it my mind almost prevents me from fully analyzing it because it's so disgusting. No matter what had spawned the argument, there is nothing that i could have said that would warrant using my diseased father as a tool to hurt me. It's just sick. So I must live in denial, it is not something that can be discussed. Sometimes repressing memories isn't always a bad thing, right?
There was also my arm, left with his teeth marks and dried blood. Now, I know that transmitting HIV through biting is almost impossible, but when you are the one being bit your mind plays you for the fool. So yes, I panicked. I know,it was stupid and uneducated but at that point in my life I had knowingly only meet 1 person who had HIV. So, to have within 2 weeks, not only started dating someone who was HIV+, but then be bitten by them was a lot to handle.
I hid everything. All my fears, all my hurt and the more apparent mark on my arm. I didn't tell anyone what had happened, I didn't want my friends to know, and I especially didn't want my ex to know. So alone I would sit in confusion, not knowing why this had happened, sinking into a dark place of my own design.
A week passed and he called. Can you please come over, he asked. We really need to talk. I don't know why I agreed, but I did. Maybe it was curiosity, how could a 30 year old man justify biting someone. Or maybe it was to see him grovel, to see that this had caused him pain. Or maybe it was because i really did like him..... Unfortunately for me the latter was the reason, and the cause of a lot more heartache.
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